A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
