discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
