I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
