Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
barbara walters just said penis...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
