I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
