and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
