No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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