I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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