I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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