dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
