I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
