he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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