Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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