would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just pee around me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
