non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
