first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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