She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I touched a dick in church today
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
