I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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