I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
