we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
