I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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