I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
FUCK WHALES
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
