Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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