also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
