I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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