was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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