I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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