Non-Jews are for practice
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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