you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
