i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
