i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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