he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
