she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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