Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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