why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
