and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
