do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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