i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
