i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
