My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
