Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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