I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He kissed a someone with a penis
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
