My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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