Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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