During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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