I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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