well most of my day revolves around power hour
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
