i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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