if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
