can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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