Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
