Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
