I wannas sexs uuuuu
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it glows. i had to have it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
