you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Farmville is her only friend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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